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July 9, 2016, 5:41 PM

God's Big Love



I've been thinking a lot lately about the state of my life and how it got there. Truthfully, I've really been thanking God for how good life has been for me the past few years. Extra truthfully, I've really been repenting of my disgruntled attitude during the years that I did not agree with Him on the way my life was going. It was in the back and forth of this process that I think I had a breakthrough; only time will tell. 

I was in the middle of being thankful and being sorry when I realized that I was actually thankful for the years that I was sorry for. I'll explain:

We often forget that God's love is different than every other type of love that we know. I think it would be fair to say that it is so different from our love that we just don't really understand it at all. We try to understand it, but we can't. We experience it, but we can't always comprehend everything that we experience. 

So, in my prayer time I am basically saying to God: “In light of how my life has turned out now, I will give you a pass for how you had my life situated back then. I'm so thankful now that I'm a little sorry for doubting you back then.” As I type it out now, I realize that it was not near as good of a prayer as I thought it was then. I suppose that is why God smacked me. It was like he plainly responded: “Josh, don't you mean that: In light of how good life is now, you are even more thankful for those years back then?” 

To be extra extra truthfully, my first response to that was NO.  But, the more that I thought about things, the more thankful I became for the years of loneliness. God opened my eyes to all the ways that he drew my heart closer to his. He showed me all the ways that he used those years to refine and prepare me to be a husband and a father. He showed me how the years that I considered wasted, were really the years where the hardest work was done. 

At that moment, it felt like load after load of God's love was dumped into my life. 

We often interpret the darkest days of life as God's silence and distance. We think: “If God was here, life wouldn't be so dark.” But, we forget that the world went dark on the day of God's greatest expression of love. (Mark 15:33)   


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